Lesson #1 - Sleep Is Important - February 11, 2017

Why, hello! Welcome to the Writer's Pocket, which is a mash of everything that I want to write about and more. Some of these will be my Lesson posts, like this one here! Others... Well, we'll find out, won't we?

Here we go...

Reflection can be helpful. Regret isn't. Ever look back on the memories and just fill up with remorse? Pray you could go back and change everything? Push the thoughts back to the deep dark pits of your brain, never to be heard from again, until, one day, you run into the person who was there for it and you are so horrified because they heard you say something extremely dumb about the weather that one time, that one year? Done and done. So, my solution is, learn the lesson. Each and every memory that I hate to recall is filled with a lesson, no matter how small. I think it's a good idea for me to start jotting these lessons down!

Lesson #1 - February 11, 2017: Sleep is Important!

I know, I know. Duh, right? Well, it seems I just haven't learned my lesson yet, and it's kicking my tush. Let me fill you in, give you the general summary of my life, just so you can see where I'm at right now. I am attending the University of Nevada Las Vegas and, this semester, I am taking 5 classes. Last year, I finally moved out of my parent's house and into an apartment! Whoot! I am working full-time, however, in order to support myself. The job isn't the hardest thing in the world, but it's still full-time, so I need to balance between classes, homework, home life, social life, and getting my butt to work on time everyday. Phew! That, my dears, is the general low-down. Back to the sleep thing.

I am TERRIBLE at following a schedule. Whenever I get in the mood to get my life organized and productive, I go on a rampage, creating Excel sheet after Excel sheet of budgeting and scheduling and it all looks so beautiful and then... Splat. At best, it lasts a week. This time was no different. The other week, I created schedules for every day of the week. I was pumped and ready to start eating well, exercising, getting all my homework done, as well as go to work, go to school, have a social life, and still be able to watch the occasional Netflix show. Brilliant! Yeah. Right.

I think that I have a bit of a complex about succeeding. If I list out what it would take for me to be successful, at least by my own terms (which don't even include becoming a famous millionaire), the whole thing is rather simple. "Just do it."

(Thanks, Shia!)

The problem: Patience and dedication are required. I fall into the trap of passion. I convince myself I just need to wait till I'm motivated or that I need to find a way to get motivated in order to do something. But passion is so fleeting. My entire being wants to reject that statement, but it's true. My Mom, who is going through the same too-much-to-do-too-little-time situation, gave me some advice a few weeks ago. She said to make my schedule with everything I need to do each day and then... don't think about the future anymore. At all. Think about that day only. Every single day, look at my to-do list and follow it. Doesn't that sound so easy?

I fall into the trap of passion. I think about my future and get so caught up in what I want it to look like that I make the drastic mistake of avoiding the very things now that will get me to my end goal. I spend more time day-dreaming than I do on focusing. I want to feel as good as I do in my dreams all the time, so I watch Netflix and stay up late and eat several bowls of ice cream, trying desperately to reach that level of happiness. Meanwhile, my body, my mind, and my happiness slowly deteriorate. I can recall how I was in my Senior year of high school. So bubbly, so hopeful, so ready. I had bad habits, but I hadn't hit the downward slope yet. Then, I started feeling it. In attempts to make myself better, I dug deeper, constantly working against myself. Now, four years later, I am sitting here at work, in misery. I feel terrible, physically, and my mind is exhausted. I have such low hopes. My heart aches. The worst part is, this is not even the lowest point. I can get lower.

My Mom gave me that advice a few weeks ago. I haven't taken it yet. It's so hard to shake old habits. The only way to do it is to start the new habits, take it one day at a time, and just... Don't stop. But first, I have to start. In a world of such need for instant gratification, I have to learn patience. Dedication. Sacrifice. No to that extra episode of A Series of Unfortunate Events, yes to going to sleep on time. No to the nap I don't need because I went to sleep on time, yes to the gym. No to the second bowl of ice cream, yes to the salad for lunch.  No to sitting around talking about nothing with friends, yes to getting homework done early, or at least on time. Be miserable and don't attempt to make myself feel better, so that, in the long run, I will actually be better.

So, sleep is important. I know. Duh, right? You're right.

Time to start.